On the subject of money.

My view of money differs incredibly compared to my parents.  I am not sure if the same will be true for you or not.  My parents grew up very poor, so their view of money is as an absolute need that you cannot be without.  I began my life with little money, but never had to concern myself with where I was going to get my next meal.  

Money always seemed to come easily for me.  I'm not saying I'm rich.  I'm just saying that I have never worked a job that I didn't like just because of the pay.  Even going all the way back to my first job, which was at Little Ceasar's.  I ended up quitting that job because I could not stand it.  My next job as a delivery driver turned out to be much more along the lines of what I was looking for.

I have always said that no matter what you like to do, if you do it well, you can make money at it.  There will always be a market for skilled people who know how to do something.  You just have to find a way to make money at it.

The best human motivater is fear.  The churches of the world learned this a long time ago.  If you are afraid that you will not have money to eat tomorrow, you just might stick with that job that you hate.

I often joke with my friends about learning how to hunt.  The bottom line is that you don't NEED money to survive.  That is not to say that you can go be a bum.  I expect you to have a level of dignity and self-respect.  These are the things that bums lose along the way.  There is never a reason why a man healthy enough to stand in the median at a stop light isn't healthy enough to flip burgers at McDonald's.  

You need to provide for yourself at the very least.  When you want to have a family, you will need to be ready to provide for them as well.  Knowing that you do not NEED money to make it through tomorrow is a big step in freeing yourself from the fear of not having money.  Which, in turn, allows you to focus on doing what you like and making a buck at it.

I'm not sure how it was that my dad planted the seed of work ethic in me.  I am hoping I can do the same for you.  My only idea for getting this across to you right now is to set a good example myself.  I don't have a lot of memories of playing around with my dad.  Mostly, I have memories of fixing up the house.  My dad definitely made stuff for us to play with, but he never joined us.  A fine example is that my dad made a basketball goal for us to play on.  He hardly ever shot a ball with us though.  He was an enabler.  Maybe I can work that in somehow.

I do think that people tend not to leave then comfortable income level.  For example, rags to riches is a rare thing.  Not because it's really that hard to do.  More because people aren't driven to do it.  I don't look for ways to make more money right now because I have all that I need.  I don't want to make money money because I believe it will mean more work.  That is what I mean by a comfortable income level.

Hopefully, I can convey to you money isn't the end all of what you need in life.  It will help in a lot of ways, but you don't have to be rich to be happy.  In fact, I'm willing to bet that being rich makes it a little harder to be happy.

I may only think that because I am at the top of my income comfort level.

More later...

I have decided to write some notes to Leon through this blog.  It is entirely within the realm of possibility that I will not be there to see Leon grow old and have a family of his own.  I absolutely hope to, but in the event that I can't, I'd like to pass on some knowledge that I have found along the way.

In addition, this will be a way for me to come back 20 years from now and see if I really still think the same way.  I am often surprised at how out of touch some people can seem.  Maybe it's just a matter of getting older.

So here we go.

Let's talk about life in general first.  I have come to realize that life is really just about experience.  I'm sure that sounds cliche, but I am finding that it is true.  Now, this is impossible to understand if you haven't had a lot of experiences.  Kind of like the worlds way of saying that you need to get out and have the experience.  I can't tell you how painful my first break up was.  It was like a physical beating that I could never experience again.  Every subsequent break up was easier to deal with after having experienced the first.  This is true in just about everything in life.

You might think that old people are lame because they don't like to drive fast cars to their limit.  You might think that old people are lame because they don't go out clubbing all hours of the night.  More than likely, they aren't doing that because they've done it before.  I know that I am simply not as interested in jamming my foot on the gas for the fun of it anymore.  Is it because I'm lame?  Well, to your young mind, you will think so.  I would disagree though.  Being the old person that I am, I would think YOU are lame for not having experienced the stuff that I already have.

Getting through the day will sometimes seem impossible, but it might make it a little easier to know that the experience you have today will make it so that this can never hurt you as much a second time.

The flip side of this are things that you really enjoy.  For example, I would love to erase the memory of the first time I saw something like Eddie Murphy's Delirious.  Immediately upon erasing, I would go back and watch it again.  There are few times that I laughed as hard as I did the first time I saw that.  Unfortunately, I can never laugh at it quite so intensely.  Regardless of how long I try to put off seeing it again, I still end up remembering the punch lines.

As you get older, it might annoy you like it does me.  I find myself watching movies and thinking about how much I enjoyed the first time I ever saw this particular concept played out.  That's when you really start to feel old.  When everything under the sun starts to look like something you have seen before.

It even translates to relationships.  At some point in your life, going around and having sex with every girl you see loses its appeal.  You start to think about what you want to do in terms of a family.  That is the natural next experience.  Some people don't progress this way.  Or perhaps, some people try to push to certain levels too quickly.  I think these are the people who end up in mid-life-crisis-divorce type scenarios.  They didn't get the experience they really wanted when they were younger, so they think they can go back and reclaim it.

Maybe my thoughts on this will change once I get older.  That's part of why I'm getting this down here.

So my advice right now.  Make sure you're taking advantage of the experiences.  Don't get caught up in the mundane, but also, don't rush through to the next thing without making sure you have plenty of time to explore where you are.

More to come...

I made a pretty nasty mistake today. I'm sure that it won't be the last, but I am hoping to learn a little something from it.

I was messing around in WoW since I have the day off for MLK Day. My wife was working upstairs and had my son with her. She was on a conference call, but Leon was not letting it go quietly. I decided I would help out, so I went up and got him. I brought him down to my area of the house, and I put him in the computer chair next to me.

It's worth noting that he had fallen out of this very chair in the past, but I thought he would be OK this time. Well, I gave him one of his toys, and I turned my attention to WoW for a second. Was it a second? Maybe it was more. In any case, I turned to hear a thud on the ground behind me. Leon had fallen once again. He began to cry, and I tried to sooth him. Keep in mind that I subscribe to the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" mentality.

So, I finally get Leon to calm down. I play with him and his toys a little. He's still crying off and on. I look at his face and I see a red mark on his forehead as well as his nose.

He doesn't seem to mind the pain nearly as much as I think he should.  Still, I pull out the guitar and start playing. I know he loves this.

He looks up at me with an expression of happiness.... I lost it. This little boy who I let down so thoroughly could be happy with a welt on his head and a smile in his face. It really bit deep onto my sense of responsibility. This kid needs me. I can't go letting him down like I did today.

Needless to say, I will never leave him in that chair again. My only hope is that I will always remember the face I saw. That look of forgiveness where none was deserved. It is probably some genetically driven response, but I felt it in my bones.

I'll try to be better than I am today, son. I can't take this chance for granted.